The clerk, not realizing one of the individuals listed on the application was male, issued the license — though stopped short of officially recording it. Nearly five decades later — after a prolonged legal battle to get their union legally recognized — their wish was granted. The couple received a letter from the Social Security Administration on Feb. The McConnells Jack took Michael's last name are now thought to be the longest-married, same-sex couple in the U. After first being denied a marriage license in Hennepin County, Minnesota, in May , the couple figured out a loophole.
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As I think back on the past 24 years of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see in general in gay male relationships that are again, in general , different from straight relationships. These are the issues that come up repeatedly in couples counseling sessions:. Statistically, white men tend to be relatively high earners. The sexism that women only earn a portion of what men earn, for the same work, extends to both gay men and straight men. Gay men of color face a dual challenge in managing social reactions and pressures from being both gay and people of color, and also gender expectations. There are many potential pressures to face and overcome. Straight men face a lot of social pressure, still, to earn more than their wives.
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Planning a wedding always presents a series of conundrums: Should a couple settle on a ceremony upstate or a quick trip to City Hall? Will there be chicken or fish for dinner? Will the dress code be black tie or cocktail attire? There are exceptions, of course.
You've had your suspicions. Maybe your normal sexual appetite is considered by your mate to be excessive, or your spouse doesn't want to have anything to do with you sexually and acts repulsed by sexual activity. Maybe your partner becomes more and more secretive and moody and you notice him or her looking at people of the same sex in a different way.